I know that I can't be the only one who feels frustrated when answers don't seem to come quick enough. I had a rough few days where I felt bogged down with responsibility and pressure. I had been praying and praying for answers. Which job should I apply for? Who will care for my babies? Why can't I find a job? Should I take on more classes? Please, why isn't my house selling? Where will we live? etc. etc. I began to get really frustrated. Why wasn't I feeling any strong inspiration about any of these things? Finally I resigned myself to the idea that I just needed to keep being patient. That must be what I was supposed to learn.
A few days ago one of my closest friend's sons received his mission call. Like a lot of missionaries families do they asked us to guess where he was going. I had made my guesses well in advance. The day his mission call came in the mail was so exciting. They had decided to open it later that evening with their family. Shortly before they opened it I was on my way to pick up a babysitter and I was blasting some country music, enjoying a short drive to the babysitter's house alone when a thought popped into my head. "North Carolina". I turned down the music and as soon as I pulled up to the babysitter's house I texted my friend and said, "I don't know why but I think I need to change my guess to North Carolina. It just popped in my head." I went on with my day. I picked up the sitter and my mom and I went grocery shopping. When I got home from the store I saw the text, "North Carolina, Charlotte mission." What?!?!? I was so excited for them but I couldn't figure out why I would get revelation about his mission. I actually got kind of annoyed. Seriously Heavenly Father, I am going to get revelation about this but not things I have been praying for that directly affect my life?! The next day the thought came to me, "Don't you see, Celeste, it's not about his mission. I have been giving you answers and revelation about your life the whole time and you doubted your ability to receive it."
I was humbled. Heavenly Father had never left me without answers. I had "thoughts" and answers come to me often but had doubted that they were revelation. His mission call was a sure way Heavenly Father could prove to me that I could receive revelation and the right answers. When I was stubborn and blind to His answers He found a way to prove to me that the answers had been there all along. He could have left me in my stubbornness to eventually figure it out but He didn't. Tears filled my eyes as I realized how ungrateful and blind I had been. It was such a simple thing and through it He taught me a lesson. Listen. Trust. Those thoughts that come to my mind are often revelation. I don't need to overthink it so much. I feel so grateful for such a small, tender mercy that reminded me that He is constantly communicating to me.
I can remember one particular time when I had heard a voice, an answer to a prayer and I didn't listen. I doubted my ability to receive personal revelation. I overanalyzed that answer and only further confused myself until I finally convinced myself what the answer was. I was wrong and unfortunately it caused a lot of pain. I have a tendency to do that, obviously. I overanalyze and get inside my head when the answer was already there the whole time. So I think it's good to have a reminder once in a while. I found this on pinterest and I've seen similar things at church before. The difference between God's voice and Satan's when it comes to personal revelation:
I don't know why I find this so hard to remember. Satan is sneaky, he makes us question things and we begin to worry and obsess which leads to discouragement and ultimately we are pushed or rushed into a bad decision. When I reflect on this list it seems so obvious which is which. So why do we get so easily confused sometimes? I think for me it all starts with one thought. "What if you're making a mistake?" It's no secret I can be a pleaser. I want to always make everyone happy and always make all the right decisions so everyone will be proud of me. I don't want to disappoint anyone especially Heavenly Father. I put all of this pressure on myself to make the perfect decision. So I question and I wonder. Maybe it's different for you. Maybe something else is your weakness and causes you to make a bad choice or forgo the answers you've received. I challenge you to think about the ways Satan gets to you. What does he do to get you to question truth and light? Once you figure it out make a conscience effort to block his tactics. Trust in your Heavenly Father and humbly listen. If we are doing all we can He will not lead us astray or give us false answers. Sometimes our answer is to have patience. However, sometimes we already have the answer right in front of us and we refuse to recognize it.
When I saw this list again all of these answers came flooding to me. I reflected on how I felt and the thoughts I had when I had made a particular decision or entertained one. All of a sudden the answers seemed to come easy to me. I still have a lot of decisions ahead of me to make but it is my hope that now that I've been reminded of these things that I will be more humble and wise in making those decisions.
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